Poets in the Kitchen- finale review

What a crazy term. This course is, if all goes according to plan, my second last course of my MFA career. It's been a tumultuous term- it always is it seems, but this reflection is going to talk about my work this term, and what I've learned.

A bit of back story- when deciding courses it was between doing a study with Alec or taking a writing course. Both would have been beneficial, but when it came down to what I needed the most- it was this course. This review will look at my personal project, but also address the overall course.

My pending degree is an MFA: Interdisciplinary Studies - Theatre & Creative Technology. I am exploring autoethnographic performance in spoken word and performing arts, and looking at the parallel between live performance and how we perform ourselves online. What I needed was a course that would help me articulate the social media/online component of the project. This course has accomplished that and so much more. What I'm really interested in is the way that we create space for ourselves to voice our stories- because too many people are marginalized in what I'm discovering for myself to be an extremely oppressive, subversively oppressive state. I am so incredibly priviledged to be Canadian, and live in North America- but at the same time, I know that my priviledge will not likely ever be at the same level of priviledge as many of my peers. At least not in my lifetime, and without devaluing the moments where we make strides forward to a more egalitarian society, we are continually inundated with stories of people who do not speak, are afraid to speak, or are silenced.

Cutting to the chase- what I learned from EC&I 831- that empathy is not working, and trying to convince members of a priviledged class who remain ignorant through empathy is not working. The results are that alienated/lonely people feel more isolated. The solution- the best way I can now articulate is: we need to create and recognize and teach those of us who are marginalized that we are a part of a collective identity. We need to move past victim shaming, and move towards victim recognition- a validation of experience- a showing that we see what's happening, we're listening, and "we" includes the person that we are speaking to. When one of us is oppressed, we are all oppressed, when one of us is bullied, we are all bullied. We can not sit behind the fear of unfamiliarity and avoid the spaces that have been colonized or invaded.

In our last lecture, the room full of amazing teachers who opened up about the challenges of digital citizenship, access, bandwidth/technology, and online interaction was so refreshing and eye opening. Things turned serious when we talked about existing online, bullying, and problems our students were facing. We talked about the alienation of technology, the barriers between familiarity and vocabulary. This is something I actually was very familiar with. Discussions talked about how most students now are born with tablets/laptops/smart phones as part of their reality. Infants are learning to use devices at an alarming rate. Most young people know how to type before they know how to write.

When I was growing up, I was raised learning 4 languages at the same time. My English was fluent by grade school, I was part of a generation of Canadians who lived in a cross section of language and the associated barriers. My parents- though 'fluent' in theory, experienced many language barriers- from the ability to process information at the same rate as their tenacious young son, to racism from people who were immediately resistant to their Vietnamese/Cantonese English accent. I once apologized for their language barrier... I still remember the punishment I received. My parents who worked so hard to get to Canada, were surrounded by an unfamiliar language, and faced the fear of trying to race me in this world- everyday.

The same can be said for technology. There is still, and perhaps will always be, a steep differential between the level of comfort parents have with technology vs. the comfort their children experience. I made the bantered allusion that the current "tech talk" parents have with youths is akin to the "sex talk" Because of fear, resistance, or assumptions of comfort- these discussions do not happen to the depth that they need to. It becomes more difficult- like an online playground with no supervision where students have to navigate harassment, abuse, bullying, and learning new forms of managing relationships online. Tons of questions of privacy, and ethical behavior is always brought up. One classmate discussed how a teacher posed as a fake student with fictitious profile to infiltrate the student community to address bullying issues that arise. The only argument in this teacher's defense was that, they were able to address the bullying because they at least could find out about it.

The majority of the response was that this was UNETHICAL. And to me- this is why- and this is how it relates to my work. I've learned more and more that it's more than just the action/content- its the methodology. Like MacLuhan said, "the media is the message" I say, the "methodology is the method" because we learn more from how things are done and why things are done, than what is done. Students are now exposed to the reality that in order to "protect" them, it's suddenly OK to lie, create fake profiles, friend strangers. If found out- then any trust that was formed is broken. It also normalizes this type of behavior which makes us disregard this behavior in the future.

One teacher mentioned that 44% of students claimed that they had been bullied online, but 90% of those students felt safe at school. To me, this reads as, students have normalized teasing online- disregarding the implications of the impact of bullying, which actually feeds the stigma that those who come forward about bullying are "weak" and should just get "over it." What's worse, is that, too many people in authourity offer the solution of "get offline." All this is victim shaming. The Victims are NOT the problem, the aggressors are. Praise be to Audrey Watters, and her incredible work.

This course- fundamentally changed the way I write spoken word. I am known as a Queer Asian Artist who writes Queer Asian and Activist work, however, everything that I have written thus far has been very specific to the relationships- this comes from my background in theatre. Over the course of this term, researching thousands of videos and performances- I've been able to articulate the methodology of spoken word artists who are activists. In our work, we either speak to the aggressor, to each other, or to the masses. The course alone did not change my writing though- with all the recent news about Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and any number of other Black men who have died because of Police brutality, and the media storm that is finally recognizing the disparate level of priviledge and oppression in North America- I rediscovered my voice in a new way.

To show this difference, here is a video of a performance I had in Montreal last year. It was one of my most popular pieces- inspired by queer couples who were not able to be recognized by the law and by their families in the event that one passed away.

and then- my piece that I wrote from this course, that I performed at our last lecture:

One of the most important videos I filmed as part of Poets in the Kitchen:

My project Poets in the Kitchen has been an incredibly fun experience. I've really loved it. Unfortunately I was away for 2 weeks this term, and then when I returned from Victoria, I faced an infestation at my home, which left me unable to cook for 3 weeks, and without cooking, I could not do my project to a level of success.

That said, a lot of things went wrong, but then again- a lot of things went right. Full disclosure- before I came to the University of Regina- I was a communications specialist at the University of Waterloo. I spent my time developing a social media strategy to the entire student body. I worked within student life, and then with residence, and then within the alumni office. I studied strategies and peak release times, etc. I legitimately tried to develop a release timeline and wanted to have a couple episodes ready to launch so that I could be consistent with my postings. That is the greatest set back, and most important practice that I know I dropped- being consistent with posts and in a timely manner. I've had lots of time management issues this term.

But that was not my focus. My goals this term was to break down the methodology of making videos and cooking videos, and figure out how to articulate this in my research. The bonus was seeing how I could incorporate the aspects of my research around autoethnographic performance, autobiographical performance, and how we engage online.

This course, more than any course, helped me build the bridge between my otherwise disparate disciplines. I have been told again and again that there was a continual gap/disconnect between my use of theatre/spoken word/music/technology/community engaged art/devised work/improvisation... it's a lot. But it all fits :)

If I apply the constraint/focus on citizenship- how we take agency, and perform ourselves concurrently in a mixed reality environment, and recognize that when we are pushed to exist in multiple realities- that our means of coping is to find ourselves in these spaces by building communities. We seek validation and recognition, and create these defining features by showing what we associate with and what we distance ourselves from. Upon recognizing this- then, the discussion point I mentioned earlier about creating communal identities is a possibility.

Allan Levine's work on story telling helped to build a methodology in... how we tell stories- but perhaps more important- it showed me how OTHER people create stories- and which stories work. Readings for Danah Boyd, and discussions on disclosure- the reversal of public vs private and how we then post information that is insecure and accessible/replicable/spreadable (i.e. Alec's experiences with having his visage and content hijacked by online predators), helped me to articulate the dangers of engaging- the dangers of speaking- specifically- the risks that oppressed people have to face when they risk speaking.

ON a very personal note- this is what I'm facing. I'm a performer. I live online. I am very open- but when it comes to this type of work- I've never felt so much anxiety- not because of time management, but because I care about this so much- it was a major step for me to make videos at all- let alone- public videos. I come from a history of bullying and abuse, that I am still coping with.

Alec's lectures and our lectures on how we exist as co-creators in a network where we are ALL authours, and have the ability to broadcast ourselves to the entire network or with individuals or subgroups, and how that has changed since this work began is a historical mirroring of how the audiences I am engaging with (the spoken word artists- many of whom identified as oppressed) have had to learn and develop their own networks and simultaneously discover the networks they were born into, put into, and that they did not develop.

I've had such a hard time staying on top of the assignments. Extenuating circumstances aside, even tonight- as I write this learning summary- it's the last few hours before our deadline. I've watched, and read for days now, and unable to post. I can't yet explain the fear/resistance- but can only recognize that I am not motivated by the marks so much as I am trying to process and develop what I've learned thus far.

Referring to the network that we, the class, officially formed- I originally felt quite distant from the class. I didn't consider myself a school teacher. It wasn't until one day, a saturday, where I teach theatre to young people from ages 9-19, that I realized- these people may be in my colleagues classes.

It happened when during an improvisation- I proposed to the students that they recreate Youtube viral videos. After we developed and showed the scenes, we had a very intense discussion about them getting permission from their parents to see if we could make actual youtube videos- and we talked about why. Then I asked their feedback on the scenes they had created and one aggressively astute student had an AHA! moment. He said, "So... our comments right now... are like the comments we see online!"

It was this moment that I experienced how connected they were... and from there... I learned that a disproportionately large percentage of my students were facing SERIOUS bullying an abuse online. It only furthered my need to explore this work, and try to DO something.

On a slightly nostalgic... romantic note- I have taught/facilitated hundreds of sessions on social media and how young people engage online to parents, teachers, academics, etc. Each group seems so... resistant to the topic, and engaging online. I've worked hard to talk about the change in emotional intelligence, and how current users- even young ones- can extrapolate deeper meaning in the communications they send back and forth. I, in my hypocrisy, was about to write off these 'adults' and educators. But this course has renewed my trust by being in a room of elders and teachers who 'get it'.

In reflection of Poets in the Kitchen- I'm going to keep making videos. I've got 2 that will be posted within the week. I think that not feeling the pressure of time and grades will only help it grow. I think that as a concept it could really fly, but one thing I DID not successfully do- but I don't think I could have done- was hone in on a specific audience. I think the type of content that is 'Poets in the Kitchen' is one where I need to either create a series of recipes that people like, condense the videos into 1 video/episode, and then create accessible poetry that will also draw an audience. My goal was to exemplify the cross over between being online and spoken word/art, that didn't entirely happen- but there were some real successes too.

I feel great moving into my final term of this degree, and am grateful for what I learned in this class.

Thanks for reading y'all!

Lemongrass Ways - Reflection on Episode 4

Lemongrass ways-

I was hoping to make at least 5 episodes for the project in class. I had enough content for 6 episodes, that have been condensed into 4. This project has been incredibly exciting, but also the hardest thing I have yet to recognize.

I say this, because Episode 4 was the first of the episodes where I was unable to get an audience member to share the meal, and then share some art. It made me think about why I was doing the project, some of the challenges I’d been facing- and specifically, if it was OK to go against the parameters that I had set for myself. To be frank, a big motivator was that I needed to get content up. Haha, if this was some cooking competition- it’d be apt to say that I was/am living in the last few minutes with judges and hosts yelling “get it on the plate.”

What I discovered was that this fear, and anxiety is what held me back. I think that a lot of people go through procrastination phases, also I had a few major setbacks with my home this term- but after a lot of reflection- I couldn’t figure out what my anxiety was. And I realize it now- so it isn’t so much learning as recognition- it was the deep rooted fear of how it would be received, and the resistance to posting content… led to a spiral effect.

After each lecture that I listened to, I started writing blogs and posts, and for whatever reason- I just let them sit in my drafts. I don’t know where I picked up this habit of avoidance and fearing the work. Suffice it to say, now, reviewing them, writing them, and getting them up has been… uncomfortable and embarrassing. I haven’t been in a classroom with more than one student, as a student in a long time. Most of my work has been individual readings etc. And I lost sight of what the core part of the class was- the social/community based learning that’s so important to open learning.

So here I am, writing this reflection- with the reality that not many people will read it in time for our last lecture. But I gotta do it. I need to get something on the plate.

All that said- looking at Episode 4, there is still a lot I got from it. And I mention it in my video intro to my poem. What I got was the reason I asked to do this project to begin with. What happened with this project and this course, is that we became a network that I agreed to, but didn’t realize what I was getting into. And the priority for me was more about what I wanted to get, as opposed to engaging and connecting- in many ways, I was practicing out of a broadcast mentality- where I communicated to the masses (the class) and failed to recognize the responses back- because I don’t think I was expecting any.

It wasn’t until I received comments, and actual viewership that I realized- “oh people are listening.” Which made me suddenly feel way more visible. As an artist, though I practice in online performance- I really prefer/need a sense of immediacy with my audience. Because then I can see, and process your reaction and that, for me, establishes the relationship.

I mentioned in my last blog post about Bonnie Stewarts lecture, and in my last video about my experiences with the media. Part of the vulnerability I felt was in realizing just how visibly ‘gay’ I was. And to clarify- I’m comfortable in my own skin, and have no judgments on what would be considered stereotypical behavior- no I’m simply stating how identifiable I was/am- and the implications that has on my family/personal network. The last time that happened, I was left homeless and disowned for a while. But that didn’t compare to the heat, and attack that my parents experienced- from our relatives, from the Asian community we were a part of. And I really have/had to question if I was ready to do this again, for marks, in a class.

For the project, I made a choice to make my videos public. Anyone who looks up ingredients/recipes/anything I’m cooking could potentially see them. The reality is- they’re more likely to look up my name, than some recipe. And I had to consider if I was willing to do that- it’s a continual question. How much am I consenting to? When I’ve already shared this much- will it make a difference? This is by no means a point of bravery, I’m not proud or ashamed of my work, but it’s a continual “what if” that continues to be present in my process.

The spark of this train of thought came from comments on my actual poems. I was taken a back by the reaction, and positive feedback. I did not think anyone would actually listen to my work. That poem, ‘Shikataga Nai’ from Episode 1, went on to do quite well- nationally, and in other competitions. But what was video’d was a very rough, early draft, set to music, in a jam. It was everything I wanted it to be at the time, but it was by no means- my ‘best’ performance. So when it still was received well- I was surprised and felt more vulnerable than any ‘gay’ performance.

So in this semi-ramble reflection- as reflections sometimes are, I’m realizing more and more, how vulnerable we actually are, and how much we reveal of ourselves online.

2 more to go... and this one's personal...

Hey foodies, EC&I 831, youtubeez,

In this weeks episode of Poets in the Kitchen, I rock out my mother's Vietnamese Lemongrass Porkchops. Probably the easiest of all my recipes, but also the most rushed. It's been so tough coordinating with artists. I'm in scramble mode, trying to get postings up, but trying to not rush the product.

My original premise was creating an almost reality tv-esque aesthetic with candid footage, and always having an audience. This time around- it was super tough, so I wrestled with how am I going to show the cooking and art, and if it would be ok to just shoot them separately and show them.

I decided it was ok to do this. Not just because I needed to get stuff up, but what I realized- which I'll chat more about in my reflection post on this- is I discovered why I decided on working on this project. Spoken word, comes from a place of speaking out loud. Recent history has tied it with many community based art practices, but specifically with activism and social advocacy. People without voices, join in community, to create a space where they suddenly have a voice, a platform to speak. And part of the agreement is that people will listen. Much like cooking shows, and cooking for friends- it's a space where one decides to cook, and creates a platform for that to happen, where bystanders/audience members/guests agree to eat and take in what is offered. I think it's about the communal identity that is created when entering an agreement to share something between two or more people.

This week has also been especially hard... in light of all the recent news about Ferguson, and racism across N.America... a lot of the work I do has been impacted by it. And it shows up in my poem. One point of sadness- I was hoping to put my intro/preamble of my poem and my poem together in 1 video, but length was a concern- so sadly, I had to split it. Anyway, enjoy! As always, comment and spread if you like :)

P.S. as promised... more attractive friends- even though Michael is a repeat guest :) And also a smoke alarm candid fiasco that you just can't script. LOL.

Thanks,

Johnny.

Poets in the Kitchen Episode 3 reflection thus far!!!!

More than any episode I think Poets In The Kitchen Episode 3 has been the most revealing, most successful, and closest to the products that I want to create. I’ve decided that this project is going to continue- even beyond this class.

At the same time, I feel incredibly vulnerable with the video. In all my videos, I don’t make a public statement about my sexual orientation, for a lot of reasons. The primary reason- is that I am making a point to not make an issue of it. I perform myself all the time, I made/make a choice to be as authentic as possible and not try to hide. One thing that I’ve learned is that, especially with the cameras rolling, if I have close friends I trust, and good company around me- I’m more likely to act like myself in the most candid way. Much like the strategies I’ve learned from watching reality tv (specifically for this course- I don’t watch reality tv much- beyond top chef J). The other main reason is that I’ve had incredibly challenging relationships with media, and being public.

One experience was in 2004 when I attended the first gay wedding convention with my then- ex-fiance, Jordan. To this day, I say that we weren’t planning on wearing matching cream sweaters, scarves, satchels…. But gay marriage was a hot topic in Canada, and they got a shot of us looking at orchids. Of course. I asked to now have my last name used, but they did it anyway. I believe it was the Toronto Star. I was still unphased- I was already out to my family- though we never talked about it- and I was relatively convinced that “they don’t read the Star or the Globe or whatever the paper was.” Anyway- unfortunately, the convention was in the same print as some major awards- i.e. the Golden Globes or Oscars or something… and it was immediately in the section behind it, so it ended up in many papers, the metro, 24… and word got out... Hard. I learned that it wasn’t about coming out to my family, but it was my family coming out to the ENTIRE Asian community and the networks therein. People from Alberta were commenting. This led to a stint of disownment, homelessness, and a lot of strife between myself and my family. To this day, I get calls whenever Pride comes around- “make sure you don’t end up on TV.” To be clear, I wasn’t the victim here- I created a situation based on my public performance of my sexual orientation that hurt my family.

The most telling part of this episode for me, was my performance at the end fo the video. I recently performed the piece at the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word. It was so well received that I was asked to perform it on the Final Stage as a highlight from the festival… and that is a huge honor.

One thing about performance and art/performance art, there is often a discussion of rehearsal, authenticity, replicability and repetition. For my guest on episode 3, I had Michelle Ilbalio, a friend, screenwriter, and coworker. I was expecting to read some of her sides, or have her talk about her writing, but nerves got the best of her… which often happens to everyone, especially those who prefer to be- behind the scenes. So I ended up performing the piece, it’s titled ‘Ferry Man.’ It’s a play on words, referencing “Fairy” (a historical pejorative for queer man) and Kheron, the ferry man in Greek Mythology. The poem was inspired by, and is an account of sexual violence against young men- specifically in a religious context of the Christian Church. I have experienced sexual violence in this context and others. It’s been a journey to come through it. I still identify as Christian, but the poem is a comment on religion, and hypocrisy/fallibility of men in power in the Church, closeted men, who- so repressed, become predators, and the men who have survived despite them.

For me, what’s telling, is that I’ve performed that piece 4 times in this final iteration. The first time, was for a poetry slam as part of the CFSW Festival in Victoria. The moment of being on stage, actually competing with this personal story was overwhelming. I have many strategies in my arsenal as a conservatory trained actor to decompress, enter, and exit a performance safely and to practice self care… but I was so lost in the piece… It was really well received. Standing ovation. But after I performed, I had to leave the stage to take a few minutes to return to a more public state. I performed it again at the Final Stage, which were the finals of the festival. But having just performed it a couple days before, and with little notice about performing it again- it lacked a lot of the energy and commitment. I was less honest… correction… I was as honest as I could have been. Anyway, that brings us to episode 3. I thought, ok, this is in my living room, in my new kitchen, I can make this facebook friendly, and youtube accessible, and it will be watered down- but perhaps because it was such a personal space. It totally ‘dropped in’ (as we actors say) with little difficulty. I was less prepared for what happened on camera. And it shows in my reactions after.

So what I’m trying to say is, that I’m openly performing my sexual orientation in the episode. Fears and anxiety about family seeing this, or people I know seeing this… are not… small. I’m not taking risks for this class. I’m making choices because I feel it’s time to.

There are too many silenced voices. I speak from a male voice, even if it’s from a person of colour’s voice, but a voice of relative priviledge in Canada. If we want to make things better… my family is strong enough to bare the resistance of the community they live in. I also don’t think it’s likely they’ll viralize a random blog vs. a national paper J.

For me this reflection is about talks from Bonnie Stuart on performing self, and also ties in the guest lectures of storytelling, and Audrey Walters speak about gendered lines… and really- identity.

What I take away from this episode is I’m much more aware of how when we perform ourselves- we consciously perform what we think we want people to see, but may not realize what we never intended for people to see. I recognize now that, perhaps unconsciously, subconsciously, I wanted my friends as a live support for these revelations. And that we are not performing only ourselves, but performing our networks, our histories, simply by realizing that those memories and connections helped form how we behave in the present.

I’m now speaking both about episode 3, and also episode 2. It’s strange the contrast being being in a group setting, vs. being very intimate with only one guest.

What is also interesting which I can talk more on later is how peers, colleagues, friends- all of them, commented on ‘how natural I was on camera, how the camera loves me, because I am very comfortable and personable to the camera.” I chalk this up to some solid theatre/film training, but it also made me focus more on how I am on camera, and playing up that “strength.” By focusing on that, and trying to heighten that- I discovered how much more of the rest of my self that I revealed.

I hope you enjoy episode 3! Please let me know if you make it at home and share comments!!!!!!

Johnny.

Poets in the Kitchen Episode 3!!!!

OMG How did we come this far, and where did my work go? Hey EC&I 831. So lots of happened to me over the last few weeks. It’s been terrible to be honest. BUT here is  my final latest videos that I’ve been making for Poets In The Kitchen.

So as promised, one of the problems with my last video is that I RAN OUT OF ROOM!!!!! L Lesson learned? DO NOT try to make a holiday special for your second episode with 3 different recipes in one.

But this one is for my desert from Asian Thanksgiving. It’s for my caramel croissant bread pudding. Please let me know what you think! Try it at home- it’s soooo easy…. The things you can do with some milk, eggs, and sugar. #Bless #givethanks #ECI831

Check out these videos, and definitely check out the poetry in the end. It's probably my most personal work... and then have a look at my reflection- wow- I didn't realize how intense and revealing this project is becoming.

More to come soon. PS. I know it's late in the game. I had no idea term was only one more week- I thought we had until exams ended. So if you still have time to look and comment, that'd be so appreciated.

Cheers, J.

Asian Thankgiving WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!

Hey Team,

It's me again- obvi. Sometimes I really wonder about us bloggers who intentionally use conversational tones in our writing. As an actor- I am very used to talking to myself, and imagining a scene partner who responds to me- and gives me imaginary impulses to react on. One thing I do like about blogs is that it's like I'm constantly on an imaginary stage- picturing everyone naked- and being nervous- #awkward. LOL.

Anyway- to blogging...

So- I'm glad people enjoyed the Episode 1. Score. It was fun to make, Episode 2 is here. Also full of some pitfalls and mistakes, but overall enjoyable. HEAR ME OUT FIRST lol- the biggest concern with Episode 2 is really... it's like 3 episodes in one. So part of my production schedule was to meet an artist/week, and I realy wanted to have 2 solid videos down and ready for screening before I officially made that happen.

So I had lined up: Justin Sheppard from many local music groups including the popular group Fur Eel, and no lead vocals for the Bureau that play at the biweekly Regina hotspot Flip on Hamilton. Then I was going to work with Nate Baker, fiddler extraordinaire and collaborator with many of my colleagues- also cute as a button. THEN I was going to film with Jon Neher, keyboardists, musician improviso highly sought after all over Sask. Then I was going to film with Leo Keiser, bioartists, bassist, musician awesomeness.

Everyone cancelled.

Correction, there were a LOT of scheduling conflicts - and bumped days and coordinating.

So I decided to do them altogether at the same time, and it was just around the time of Thanksgiving, and I realy wanted to get another episode finished before I left for Victoria- the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word... So I decided to host an Asian Thanksgiving.

For my menu- Ginger Scallion Lobster- because during Chinese celebrations- especially weddings- lobster is a popular dish and SO EASY to make, but messy to butcher- which you shal see!!!! Bourbon Chicken (Drumsticks because I legit - dislike Turkey, you need way too much butter and fat to keep it moist #nothanks #darkmeatalltheway), Five Spice Beef Stew because it's so tasty, lasts for days, and is easy to make. And for desert- Almond Toffee Croissant Bread Pudding with a Coffee Caramel Ganache/Drizzle #enoughsaid.

My other big strategy was that all of these dishes took drastically preparation times, so I could start them days/hours apart which made it manageable- because despite the offer of help- with the limited time I had... it was going to be a solo venture.

My other learning/teachable moment was FILM and MEMORY. I ran out of film- SO SORRY TEAM! My ipad kept filling up, and as mentioned in my previous post, my inability to make it to campus to upload stuff, and my challenges to transfer files quickly filled my iPad. So you'll see a lot of rushed stuff- because I was also insistent of getting all the lobster butchering outtakes and extra footage. But I think it's worth it.

Dinner was a blast. And everyone was so darn good looking.

I think my favourite part of dinner filming- and I know this sounds narcissistic- were the short clips of people eating and chatting. I took a lot of pride in those moments, where they enjoy the food- so.... Screw this degree- I'm going to culinary school- kidding. I think what really worked for me in this filming was the honesty of all th people- including myself. Nothing felt "put on" and everyoen felt really genuine. I generally hate to watch myself perform, but this video in particular was one of the few that I got to see myself doing sohing th I loved, and that....was nice to watch.

So the bad news is, because I ran out of memory, I wasn't able to show you how to make the bread pudding, but I promise it looked good :) I'll post an image up and you can see the result. It tasted great, and I will do a follow upvideo that shows the recipe. For the art portion we ended up just jamming, and that was awesome. The singin was off key, and timing was off, but we were honoring an age old tradition of group song so I stand by it. I will also post another poem with my desrt video comign up.

So what you're going to see now, is ONLY the prep videos and some of the dinner. I have another 10 vids coming that are just the dinner. EEEK.

KK- here you go- enjoy!

Johnny.

And here is the twitter link to my Almond Toffee Croissant Bread Pudding

OMG I'VE BEEN MAKING MOVIES!!!!!

Hey ECI 831 and the WORLD-

I've been away- Sorry :( But I've got some great news and learning etc. So as some of you may have been reading, you know that for my project I was going to create a HOW TO Cooking Channel on youtube called "Poets In The Kitchen." To research and develop this project, I spent a week literally watching hundreds of Youtube Cooking Channels. In future posts, I'll include some links to some of my favourite videos. Additionally, I watched a range of amateur to professional videos- I was joking to my students that I now, sound like Gordon Ramsay (except without the cussing).

Anyway, I never realized how much work actually went into making online videos. I've had so many struggles these past two weeks with rendering/exporting, and uploading videos. Additionally, I was trying to find artists and figure out what I was going to teach. But the work paid off... I now have a production schedule for the term, and a bunch of confirmed artists, and my first series of videos is up.

The first series is actually only 1 session, broken up into 8 x 10 min videos. What I learned here is that I can/should/will condense the show way more. So the next video which will be posted this week will only be 30 mins long. BTW- My first video series is up! You can see the imbedded videos below :)

So what happened?

For my first video, I enlisted the help of my good friend Jeff Moser, the first artist I collaborated with upon my arrival to Regina, and a long standing colleague who is doing some amazing things. I also entreated my new friend Michael Andersen, a scholar, athlete, model, and all around great guy to join us for dinner.

For Dinner, I decided to go with a crowd pleaser, my Thai Panang Coconut Red Curry. I chose this as my first dish to share because its easy to make, often a bit scary for people to make, and it can be very versatile in terms of what you put into it. Also, it's relatively affordable, and since it is a stew/soup base, it can last several days. I really wanted to focus on an accessible dish that my ideal demographic (university/young adult/adult folks) would actually try.

There was definite rehearsal and preparation, I started to analyze and breakdown what I noticed about pretty much ALL cooking video channels, especially the ones done professionally. Some key things which I tried to incorporate/consciously disassociate myself from at various times:

1)  Always add very positive qualifiers/adjectives to your recipe/food list/ingredient list, because if we say "this AMAZING kale" vs "kale" viewers will believe you
2) Every few seconds, decrease the level of challenge of the task at hand "As you can see, this is easy... anyone could do it... even one with such a culinary ineptitude as you."
3) Show the food, then show your face, then show the food and your face, and then show your food while smelling and tasting it
4) Have good looking people in good shape and form in your videos to show that "if pretty people eat my food, it must be good" (this is only sort of a joke, and absolutely NOT why I enlisted the cast that I did- they actually are my friends, and my friends simply tend to be attractive INSIDE and Out :)
5) Include somewhere the health/nutritional value of what you're making- and defer to the experts. And if what you are making is NOT healthy- the GO DEEP into how decadent, rich, sinful, and DESERVING you are of it.
6) DO NOT PROFESS AUTHOURITY if you ain't got none. Circumvent the trolls and haters, and open the doors for actual constructive feedback so that You the creator can learn and grow. I think the biggest part of GROUP learning and managing your publics online is making sure that you are as receptive as you give out.
7) With youtube, show your mistakes, don't sensationalize them, the more you make, the more human you become and the more accessible you become.

For a first run, I found many mistakes, that I actually ended up doing AGAIN in my second episode, but Episode 2 is a special case, I'll get to that in my next blog post.

SO- my goals with "Poets In The Kitchen" was to find a balance of really showing everyday folks making food, the time it takes to make the food, and the fun you can have while doing it. I wanted long shots, simple takes, and a lot of candid camera time. I was playing with the balance between being a "host" to the camera, and practicing that voice with a casual hang out with friends. My first mistakes were an assumption of interest from viewers.

1)We haven't established any sense of "character" or hook for the viewers, so they don't necessarily want to hear about our lives.
2) Some viewers really just want to get the recipe, and do the cooking, not experience this tween-age reality show.
3) This isn't meant to be a reality show persay.
4) I've studied social media, and youtube in the past, and as with all things internet-related, things change. I actually hadn't created videos like this- ever, but I thought some principles would be the same- not so. Video length, and upload time are huge factors.

That was probably my biggest mistake, and the main reason why it's taken me so long to post things was that it took hours to do even the simplest edits, and more hours to get them uploaded online. I was travelling a lot, so I was unable to get to campus where the bandwidth and upload times were significantly faster.

The part that got me the most worried was the art. This is meant to be unrehearsed, and candid, and so personally I don't think I did the BEST job, but I also wasn't sure how effective the content would be, and if it would help/hinder the spreadability of the media, because obviously- an eventual goal is subscribership/shares/and distribution. I want EVERYONE to make my tasty food, get a cookbook deal and a show.

To make the videos and edit them, I stuck to the use of my iPad/iPhone, and as little of my MacBook as possible. Part of my practice and research is creating media with personal mobile devices. We're continually inundated with messages of intuitive user-friendly apps and functions, and my work looks heavily at diy, user generated, audience/viewer generated content- so as a methodological framework I wanted to stick to that. This became a big ordeal for episode 2, but more on that next blog.

Overall though, and the reason I'm going ahead with my first attempt, I think I hit most of my goals. I'll know better for Episode 3, and I want to honour and respect the work that my guests did, and recognize that they did great, despite the systematic challenges that some of my oversights placed upon them. At the same time, I want to honour the parts where they excelled, again due to the same constraints that I established.

So that said, here is are links to my first episode, and if you continue to follow the channel, you'll see the rest of the videos! Woot!

Thanks for watching, subscribe and share!

Johnny.