One of the most memorable discussions was around the video of a young man who needed to create a fire using twine, and he posted a video online of his learning process. In the video, he asks the internet (other users/viewers) to give him feedback because he admitted that he didn't know what he was doing. What was great, was a group of people who practiced making fire in the woods responded and gave feedback. This was a perfect example of open learning/group learning online.
Alec discussed how this process of getting feedback, admitting his skill level was a means of managing his publics. He was managing his networks of viewers to apply constraints to make the process useful to him. For me- I did not immediately go to this place of managing publics- I actually was more interested in the young man's seemingly normalized methodology of preventing negative criticism and facilitating useful feedback to be successful. I think what we're talking about is along the same stream of thought- but I think I was more concerned with how aware he was of interactions online.
Perhaps some back story- about 7 years ago, I was in an interdisciplinary theatre production, "Here Be Dragons' that looked at queer migration and identity. In the production, one of our cast mates began playing on the internet, making videos of himself exploring his sexuality- either with ropes or make up, etc. Through many debates and discussions as we developed content for the show, we discovered a video of a young man posting a video of himself 'getting ready for school' which included an extensive cosmetic regimen. My cast mate shared the video with us, and was adamant in his view that it in many ways showed an 'innocence' in the users content. I completely disagreed. I can't find that original video, but here is a very comparable one.
In our debate, we challenged each other on the grounds that he found the boy "playing" and seeing an innocence in his performance. One difference between the video I posted here, and the original was that instead of the higher production quality, the other video was set in the boy's bedroom that was filled with a blend of heteronormative/gender normative decor that one might expect in a young person's room. I challenged this innocence because it didn't seem innocent. I then looked up the boy's channel and found an earlier video. Both have been removed... it has been 7 years. But that said, these were my comments in our email exchange:
"Nothing about this video shows any timid or overly excited approach to the make up. If anything, this guy knows his shit, and is doing it WELL. He KNOWS his products, he knows what is aesthetically pleasing. And this is not his momma's make up kit. THIS IS PRIDE, pride in his craft, not even gay pride- but it kind of is. The title says, this is his morning RoUtiNe. There is no safety of his family home, because- I'll put $5 down that says this is him prepping for school or he does this on his way before school. I take that back. I think, of course, there is safety of his family home- but I don't believe that he feels bound do it. Like a new immortal from Highlander who clings to sacred ground so that he/she doesn't need to fight- no, I think this queen is a scrapper, and will take off a head or two if he needs to. Because of this, I believe he also knows what to expect from the comments section. Also, check out his channel... his two channels. This bitch is gettin' serious. For real. He ain't playin. But in it, this 'guurrrrl' is already rocking the base, shadow and lip liner. His experiment seems more to be with video than cosmetics.
I think that people (including him) continue to play with
expression and identity, and make-up is a great way to do that. But what
I'm most impressed with, and moved by- he seems to have a very clear
image and idea of what he is, who he is, and what he should look like.
And not to take everything I just said back, but after ranting a
bit- I believe what is inherintly 'innocent' about what this boy is
doing, is that he isn't doing anything wrong. He moves without guilt, or
shame. However, I believe he lacks the ignorance / naivete (the bambi)
that experience takes away.
It's just that, when I think of experimentation- there is a risk of
an unknown. You never know what's going to happen next. But this kid-
it's been a year, he moves with such grace and experience, he even uses
his own mirror less because he knows his face so well. He knows how much
product to use, and which spots to accent or take away... effortless."
Haha, it's kind of neat to see your own writing from almost a decade ago. But I dug through the thousands of emails and found this- and am surprised that my feelings are still so similar. Please pardon the queer-centric colloquial language- it was in the context of our character development.
In terms of social/historical context- I think the video is incredibly brave. When there are still so many, too many stories of teen suicide and cruelty online- this sends a message of self acceptance and celebrates self expression. Though I do not applaud this man for being brave. I think that's a disservice. I think what's important about this video, and videos like it, is that it shows a normalized process of doing whatever you need to get through your day.
That to me is digital citizenship. In the face of injustice/adversity/oppression online- to simply continue to cultivate a space where you can speak, and know that you are empowered to manage your content for whatever control you have is empowering. It gives one agency to exist.
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